i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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