he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
