This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
