You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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