Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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