Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
