I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
