I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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