Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
