i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
