so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize