What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
