i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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