How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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