yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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