im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize