Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
