Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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