the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
