Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This gyro tastes like lonliness
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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