i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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