But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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