I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
