I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize