Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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