Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
