Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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