Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
