and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
