Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Girls should come with a carfax report
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
