I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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