If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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