i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
