is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
