So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize