Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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