Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
