i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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