i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
