she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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