im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
