and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
