dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She's the barista slut.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
