Can i not drive my cunt home
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Mom said you looked used
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize