Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
