so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize