Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
