its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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