You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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