Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
