Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
