your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
