tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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