absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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