Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
