There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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