You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
