the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
