i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
