Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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