at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
