I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize