His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
