You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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