3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
