He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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