I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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