grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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